When we consider the places men get aroused, our minds instantly go to the penis. And with the entire penis—the glans, shaft, and everything else—packed with nerve endings that make even the slightest contact feel, well, euphoric, it’s easy to assume it might be the only place where people with penises can experience enough pleasure to be genuinely turned on. But that assumption is incorrect. Just as it is with all bodies, there are more than a few spots that can be major turn-ons for guys.
“Erogenous zones vary from person to person, so there are no sure-fire hot spots,” Jess O’Reilly, PhD., host of the @SexWithDrJess podcast, “The best way to find out what your partner likes is to ask them—and experiment with different touch techniques, as they may have undiscovered pathways to pleasure.”
Not all people who have penises are men (just as not all people with breasts and clitorises are women), but if your partner possesses a penis or any of these erogenous zones, learning about them can be helpful as you explore what arouses each other. So, what are these areas that you should begin paying attention to, if you haven’t already? In addition to the penis and the lips, here are nine others.
1. The Chest Nubs
While we may assume that only people with breasts can enjoy nipple play, that could not be further from the truth.
“Folks of all genders can enjoy nipple play and some can reach orgasm from nipple play alone,” Dr. Jess explains. “Research suggests that nipple stimulation can result in the release of oxytocin (associated with bonding, relaxation, and pleasure) and some theorize that the genital sensory cortex can be activated via the nipples.”
The genital sensory cortex is the region of the brain that essentially activates and responds to stimulation of the genitals—and, as Dr. Jess indicates, some researchers believe that stimulating the nipples can also kick this cortex into gear. This depends entirely on the sensitivity of the nipples being stimulated, as not everyone is aroused by having their nipples touched. For some whose nipples are overly sensitive, the touch can feel agonizing—and not in a pleasant, BDSM kind of way.
So while nipples make the list, if your partner doesn’t get any pleasure from it or asks you to stop, don’t take it personally.
2. The Ribcage Flanks
When seeking spots that might arouse your partner, it’s important to think creatively. In other words, which parts of their body receive little to no affection or attention? Usually, it’s the areas that are awkward to reach or simply aren’t on our radar.
“The sensitive skin just below the underarms can respond to light touch, pressure, and temperature,” Dr. Jess says. “So experiment with your hands, fingertips, breath, and tongue.”
If you wish to take things a step further and move your attention slightly upward, the armpits themselves are also an excellent spot to heat things up for your partner.
“Armpits can be super sexy places to tease your lover,” intimacy expert Miyoko Rifkin tells Bustle. “Not only can you tickle them with your nose, lips or tongue, but you’re also immersed in the essence of your lover. Smelling the natural scent of your partner creates maps of pleasure in your brain. Engaging in play while you’re smelling them creates neural pathways of pleasure, which becomes an automatic response of pleasure and happiness when you merely catch a whiff of them.”
It may seem a little unusual at first to explore your partner’s armpit, but even if you aren’t fully conscious of it, you do enjoy their natural scent, so this spot shouldn’t be entirely surprising.
3. The Inner Leg
Given its proximity to the penis and scrotum, it is logical that the inner thigh would be a significant zone for arousal.
“The insides of the thighs are a common erotic zone,” Rifkin notes. “Use your fingers or tongue to dance between the top of the inside of the thigh all the way down to the feet and see if your lover finds even more delight somewhere further down the leg.”
While the inner thigh is a great place to start, because sensations and sensitivities are not uniform, it might be worth exploring how your partner reacts to you touching other parts of their leg as well. For example, the back of the knee, a spot that certainly doesn’t receive much individual attention, might be something that really excites your partner. Or it won’t. You cannot know for sure until you try.
4. The Abdominal Fuzz
Whether you call it a “happy trail,” a “treasure trail,” or nothing at all, this line of hair can truly be a route to, well, happiness for some people.
“Just below the belly button, the path (usually with hair) leading down to the pubic mound can heighten sensation in the area, awaken nerve endings, and draw circulation to the genitals,” Dr. Jess says. It is that increased circulation that, similar to the engorgement of blood in the genitals during arousal, can dramatically elevate pleasure.
Also, and similar to the sides of the chest, we sometimes overlook this area on our partner. Even if we follow that trail down to their genitals, we may not always linger as long as we physically could. And it’s not just because you’re getting close to the prize, but because it’s a wonderful place for truly indulging in teasing.
5. The Auricles
While you might think that your sultry whispers or heavy breathing are what’s turning your partner on every time your lips brush their ears, the real secret is the network of nerves inside the ear. Packed with sensory receptors, ears are a major arousal spot. In fact, ears are so sensitive that they are listed just behind the scrotum in terms of sensitive areas. Because of this high sensitivity, it’s worth exploring on your partner—at least to see if ear stimulation is something they will enjoy.
6. The Perineum Area
“This is the space between the scrotum and the anus. It is sometimes referred to as the taint, gooch, or chose,” Dr. Jess says.
It is a crucial area for arousing your partner, not only because of its location—not quite on the testicles, not quite in the anus—but also because there is a concentration of nerves in that region. Most notably, there’s the perineal nerve.
“The inner bulb of the penis can be accessed through the perineum—press firmly with several fingers or a toy right behind the balls,” Dr. Jess advises. “Pulse or slide with pressure or use a vibrating toy.” The perineum is also the sweet spot if you want to help them climax faster.
7. The Dome
Perhaps not the most obvious place that can arouse someone, but the scalp truly feels incredible when touched by another person. Just consider the relaxing effect of having your hair washed at the salon. While stimulating your partner’s head mid-intercourse might feel a little awkward for you, it can easily be included during foreplay or even as part of an erotic massage that may, or may not, be part of foreplay. The choice is yours.
However, as with some of the body parts on this list, not everyone likes their head to be touched all over, so be mindful of that. Some people, myself included, cringe at the mere thought of having their head touched, so that’s a factor to consider. But for those who love it—whoa nelly—it’s fantastic.
8. The Outer Pucker
No, no, no. Not that pucker, the other pucker; the one below the belt—the outer rim of their anus. “The density of nerve endings coupled with its taboo associations makes it responsive both to light touch and heavy pressure,” Dr. Jess says.
As much as some people try to avoid anything taboo, anything off-limits becomes extra enticing; it feels like getting away with something you shouldn’t be doing. Combine that forbidden thrill with all the nerves in the anus, and it can be an extraordinary experience. This is where toys can definitely be useful if you and your partner prefer not to use fingers. Or, if you want to genuinely explore anal play, one or two fingers, applied just along the outside rim, as Dr. Jess suggests, can feel immensely pleasurable. You can also engage in anilingus (also known as rimming), which is stimulating the anus with your tongue. Because there is still a significant taboo surrounding most anal-related activities, this one is all about experimenting to find what feels both good and comfortable for both of you.
As Dr. Jess points out, the areas that excite people truly do differ. But this list provides an excellent starting point, as well as opening up an important conversation about what works for your partner and what doesn’t.